Tomorrow, 16 October marks the 15th anniversary of my beloved Qong Qong's death. And also it is now 2 years since I get to talk to you and bring you roses in the columbarium. It wasnt a choice for me at all with the way of the world, the way the system works. I know deep inside you and I are still connected and you know my pain, you know I cannot leave my young son, your young great grandson alone in NZ. It wasnt the way you brought me up to be a responsible parent to abandon a child for my own sake. However, I do miss just standing in front of your columbarium talking to you because somehow I still feel that you can hear me. I know I also look around at the 'others' and have happy thoughts of you being friends with some of them especially that little girl who died at such a young age. Whilst I can no longer feel and have the special unconditional love physically from you, I still believe, you are watching over me somewhere and having fun with others while waiting for the day we could be reunited. It could happen sooner if the end of the world is really happening on the 12/12/12.
I still miss you everyday and with my situation now, I really wished that you could be here for me. You have been the only person who would stand up for me regardless of anything. I know you would bend over backwards, not worried of what the world thinks to get me and your great grandson out of this predicament. Because of you, I have faith in every single person I meet but the last 2 years, I have only been disappointed over and over again by people.
When things get really tough, I recall your simplicity in life and that restore my faith in the world, temporarily.
Dearest Qong Qong, till we meet again, please continue to watch over me and your great grandson. He exhibits quite a few of your characteristic, even the little health issues you had. And help me impart your teachings on him, the simplicity and sincerity and trust. Something that is so significantly missing in the world now...
Love you forever.
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