Monday 24 September 2012

Stay At Home Mother in a Job



As per the picture above, stay at home mother is a job.  It is unfair that the Domestic Purpose Benefit penalises mothers who desire to care, nurture and teach their preschoolers. Firstly, for some of us mothers, we are on the DPB not by choice but by circumstances where our supposedly reliable husband abandoned us.  With the new change effective 15 October 2012, those of us who are on the DPB are required to put our children in a childcare to return to work force on a part time basis.  What I cannot understand is why is the Government paying 20 hours of free childcare to an institution rather than paying that 20 hours for a mother who is willing to sacrifice her lifestyle to stay home to care and teach her child?

Face it, most of these childcare educators are young graduates who do not even have children of their own.  They do not nurture the kids as their own children but rather do it like a job.  The more independent kids will benefit with more attention whilst the more ‘troubled’ kids are left alone because they do not want to accidentally make the child cry.  These educators will not go beyond their call of duty to teach and discipline the child, the way a mother would.  As an example, if a child in the childcare does not want to do puzzles or eat their veges, the educators will not coerce the child to do so because they fear the child will throw a tantrum.  But as a mother, we will do whatever we could to ensure the child eats healthy and does stimulating brain exercise. 

I am from a multicultural background and my preschool boy could speak Malay, Chinese and Englsih.    As we know, preschool age is the best age to teach languages and could my child get this if he goes to a childcare/kindergarten?  Would he get the one on one attention he gets now?

To be honest, if a stay at home mother is to be paid the minimal $14/hour wage, we should be getting at least $154/day in wages (giving the minimum of 11 hours work when most of us actually work round the clock!).  Instead of forcing our child to a kindergarten or childcare, I think there should be an ‘organisation’ that pays women who SACRIFICE their lifestyle for the love of their child. 

My honest opinion – parents who ‘dumped’ their children in childcare is actually taking the easy way out.  Try spending a whole day taking care of a preschooler, from chauffeuring them to playgroups to cooking for them, putting them to bed and teaching them, most would rather choose the easy way out of leaving the ‘job’ to supposedly trained young graduates with an ECE degree.  

Thursday 13 September 2012

Double Standard Practice

On Tuesday (11/9/2012), Close Up New Zealand ran  a story about child support.  It featured two Kiwi women who are  complaining that they are owed $30k in child support from their ex-husband in Australia.  There was not much focus on the second woman but the first one Tania Webby said that she moved back to NZ from Australia and has not been paid child support.  The story said "Tania moved back to NZ for family support". When Close Up team rang her ex-husband in Australia, he said he doesnt believe her owes her $30k in child support.  He believes he only owes her $8k because "she lives only 10 minutes away from me but she decided to f**k off to NZ, leaving me with no contact with my son.  So she can f**k off with her child support".  

My comment -  Why is NZ Government responding to her plea for child support instead of sending her back to Australia to get a fair trial in child custody?  As far as I know, NZ and Australia practiced the same Care of Children Act which is shared parenting.  It seems to me, when their own citizen women 'abduct' their child back to NZ for family support, it is OK.  It is not considered abduction.  But for a non-Kiwi woman like me who wants to return to Malaysia for family support, I am considered BAD because I am taking the child away from the father.  I am dragged through a load of court process draining me off financially as well as emotionally.  What a load of DOUBLE STANDARD!  

As for the NZ Government, I thought they do not deal with individual cases but why are they responding to Tania and Monique case?  From watching Close Up, it looks to me that Tania and Monique are living rather comfortably in a rather big house.  

Lastly, I was intending to include the video clip in this blog but when I went to Close Up video, the video has been taken off their website! 

Forget to add, at least a Malaysian woman like me has more decency because I offered that I DO NOT want any child support if I am allowed to go home to Malaysia.  I cannot believe these women want their cake and eat it too.  



Tuesday 4 September 2012

Violating of Mother's Rights

In the absence of the father, I asked to be the primary carer of my son only to be told I cannot.  In the absence of the father, the grandparents can have equal rights.  NZ's law teaches ALL MEN that they dont need to respect women.  Women are just incubators and once the baby is out, the father and the grandparents have equal rights.  But then the mother's parents does not because they do not live in New Zealand.  

A law that violates human rights, mother's rights, maternal grandparents rights.  Basically everything that was taught in the Bible about women and mother, New Zealand violates it.  But then of course this is not uncommon for a country that does not believe in GOD.  


No Respect for Human Rights

Every night when I hear my son coughing I get really upset and angry.  Why must we stay in New Zealand just for the sake of physical bonding and it is birth place when we both have to suffer in our health!  The doctor has in writing and every mother's in the world know that a young toddler with his type of asthma (constriction of his pipe when the temperature drops) would require a warm room to breath properly!  I am paying huge power bill to keep the house warm at 22-23 degrees when in Malaysia, it is naturally that temperature.  

Whilst we have to remain but no one is paying my power bill.  No one is paying my doctor's bill.  

This is a true violation of human rights.  Because of this stupid law, NZ ends up with the highest SUICIDE rate in the world.  They screw up the children's mind at a young age.

Religion is a Sin

I have enough with the New Zealand and its stupid law.  All I ask was a 30minutes earlier return of my child so that I can take him to church but ALL lawyers including mine thinks that it is unreasonable.  Going to church is not important!  

Well maybe New Zealand should change their National Anthem.  It shouldnt be God Saves New Zealand.  Why ask God to save New Zealand when the country doesnt even believe God exist!  Change it to I Save New Zealand since its the one country that has so much emphasis on ME time.  

Maybe God is already not in NZ.  The first place God took his wrath is in Christchurch because it is a blasphemy to call itself Christ' Church when there is no believe in Jesus Christ!  

Sick of the system!