Rules of Love

I dont know why I wrote this today.  I must be feeling a bit 'rejected' and cynical.  Oh well, I am allowed to by cynical as letting your emotions out is good.  No use bottling it inside, isnt it.  Maybe a part of me was thinking of good guys I have met in the past which have been so good to  me but they are not of 'equal status'. How stupid I was when I was younger. Reminder to self - dont make the same mistake again. 

These rules of love are only applicable in the Asian culture. I have no idea who 'invented' these rules but they seem to have an effect on the society even in this modern era. 

• An older woman cannot date a younger man

Till today, if you ask a woman, she will prefer to date a man older than her rather than a man younger than her. The odds of the opposite occurring are probably 2:10. Why is that? I have no idea who and how this rule came about but it seems to have an impact on the age difference in a relationship. Those who actually date someone younger will get a different reaction as though it is not a 'normal' relationship. I presume this could be due to the reason that younger man is considered immature but in reality, age is just a number and not a sign of maturity. Will this perception change in time to come? 

• Must date someone of an equal status

In the Asian culture, it is always encouraged to date someone of the same social status as the family background. When a girl from a poor family dates a guy from a rich family, it is often perceived as monetary oriented. There is even a Chinese saying for this rule. Similarly, education qualification has the same effect. An uneducated person dating an educated person will yield similar gossip. 

• Divorced women are considered second hand goods

The common advice to a divorced woman "If the guy can accept you despite of the fact that you're divorced, you better be appreciative of him. You no longer have the right to talk about love". The Asian society shuns divorced woman as discarded goods and a man who will accept a divorced woman as a good man. This rule is probably applicable in the old Asian days but its stigma has stayed on through generations of Asians. Because of this 'rule', divorce is still considered a taboo in many ways in the Asian culture and divorce woman loses all self dignity and appreciation for themselves. 

• If a man is successful, he is good

This 'rule' plays in almost every woman and parents mind though they do not realise it. One of the first question asked of a man is "What do you do?" If the answer is doctor, lawyer, engineer or any other blue collared jobs, you will get a smile in return. If the answer is unfavourable, an "Oh" is usually the answer. When the man gets introduced to the parents and if his profession is favourable, the parents usually say that he is a good man. Honestly, this correlation of profession equals to being a good man is no longer applicable. Again, when will this perception change and we could break out of this rule and see someone for his actions rather than his profession?

These rules though unwritten have an impact on the mindset of dating couples. Isn't it a waste to see a relationship not materialising on the basis of age difference or being with a successful man who treats woman with no respect? Having rules are good but it is not the bible to a relationship. There could and must be exception.