Motherhood

Last night I was watching Private Practice and Addison Montgomery said something that was really meaningful about motherhood/childbirth - it's the moment where every cell in your body transform and the woman is no longer a woman.  She is now a Mother.  

I experienced that magical transformation and am proud to say that I followed my heart with that transformation and did not allow society pressure to push me into 'hiding' that transformation.  

I read Lee Kuan Yew's speech during Singapore's National Day Celebration.  Link to the speech http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/view/going_extinct_is_no_fun/#idc-container  He speaks on Singaporeans on the brink of extinction because everyone is too busy trying to earn more and more money, they do not want to reproduce.  Women have the 5 C's criteria before they will settle down with a man and even so, it is a temporary stop of work before they want to resume in the workforce to be part of the 'team'. The thought of losing out for a few months scares these women so much that they rather not have a child.  

Before the birth of my son, I am no different to those women in Singapore.  The reason I took up the job offer in NZ is because I thought it will boost my career.  My focus is money and society status.  Then came motherhood... even then I was quite sure I will resume my career but I am thankful I allowed the transformation of cells happen and embraced motherhood.  It is more rewarding and I feel that as a woman, we are made to be mothers/carer/nurturers.  

I gave up my career as an Engineer and society/friends/relatives/ex-husband judge me as 'wasting my life' etc.  But you know what, from where I am sitting, I see that these people who are so money focus, blinded by money and status are the one that have not lived their life.  I can honestly say that whenever I walk past any of the projects I have done, it is just an empty feeling.  I dont feel warmth looking at my traffic lights, roundabout etc.  But I feel proud of my son when he can do a 72 piece puzzle all by himself at 3.75yrs old, I feel proud when my son could understand the concept of maths at his tender age.  

In fact, I have started tutoring other children and when I get their exam results,  I feel so proud of them, like they are my own children achieving the merits.  It is a feeling of warmth that comes from inside, a feeling that put you in good spirit, a feeling that puts a smile on your face because there is no monetary value attached to it.  

Singapore is a great country.  I love Singapore and everything about it.  But like Lee Kuan Yew, I feel so sad for the citizen that is on the brink of extinct.  Seriously women, is money and status and being on par as your male counterpart really that important?  As for men, if you respect women a bit more like ACCEPTING that women are made to care and nurture instead of fighting with us till we crumble, maybe more women are happy to embrace motherhood.  Despite the hurt and pain I suffered from my ex-husband unwillingness to accept that I really cherish motherhood, I would definitely not change a thing and given the chance, will do it all over again with many more children.  

I have learnt that career, status and money only defines who you are on the outside but motherhood defines who you are from the inside.  Once you missed out on motherhood or certain milestone of your child's life, you can NEVER get it back.  But with my career, there's always time to return to it, even if it means starting lower in the rank again.