Reduce the use of lawyers in court. Yay, to some of us but not necessary to everyone. Some women from an abusive relationship whether it is a physical abuse or emotional abuse would not want to face their abusive ex in court. It will be a very traumatic experience. Meanwhile for some of us, it is a huge saving. Every phone call, every e-mail to the lawyer is MONEY. At $300/hour, one has to be printing money to afford a lawyer in New Zealand.
From my perspective, the lawyers only act in their OWN interest, which is to win and to look good in the eyes of the law. If they represent the women, they do not listen to what the women want. They tell the women what the law wants them to do. If they represent the men, again they will encourage the men to exercise their rights, minimise the financial outgoing. Hence many lawyers representing men are actually telling the men - GO FOR 50/50 so that you can avoid paying child support. But how the child is supported or taken care of in the care of the working men, it doesnt matter to the lawyers. They have done their job for the men/client.
As for the so called Lawyer for the Child, this is the most ridiculous of all especially for pre-schoolers and primary school children. How could someone who knows nothing about the child represent the child? Yeah right (sarcastically) to the so called impartial view of the child. Every child is different, every child is unique but the lawyer of the child uses a check box system whilst representing a child.
Recognising Economic Abuse - applaud to that change but to what extend is considered economic abuse? There's so many gray areas that could be considered economic abuse. For instance, should a Trust be considered economic abuse? Someone who starts up a Trust to ensure that all his assets are protected are considered smart but it can be considered selfish leaving the other partner to live in a much lower economic situation after separation.
Or the current 50/50 shared parenting situation. The men usually gets the weekend while the women has the weekdays. For us women who really just want to spend time with our children, we are DENIED that opportunity if we return to the workforce. If we return to the workforce and the children is at school, our time with our children is only the few hours after work to bedtime. We DO NOT get the pleasure of having a full day with them. So for that reason, some of us choose to forgo working to be able to nurture our children. And as a result of that, we suffer economically.
Fast tracking the system - definitely applauding to that. Seriously when one decides to file in court especially for 'bigger' applications like relocation, it means that no resolution could be resolved. Why the need for the counselling, mediation, Judicial Conference, etc? It should go straight to the court hearing with the affidavits.
Now for my extra suggestions.
Psychological Assessment on a pre-schooler - that is the most ridiculous assessment to undertake for a relocation case. Yes, maybe it is necessary in an abusive family but for a relocation especially on a pre-schooler? What type of methodology could be used that could fairly justify the evaluation when a pre-schooler is at such an impressionable age? I think the use of psychology assessment is over rated and should be limited to cases where there is abuse to save time and money for the Court.
To completely minimise cost and stress to everyone, why cant we have a standard system of care of child? To be honest, pre-schoolers need their mothers most so why cant we just face and accept that as the psychology of a child and have a system based on their emotional and psychology maturity.
- Preschoolers - Mother as the primary caregiver with father having access for twice a week but pre-schooler returns to mother for care at night.
- Primary School children - Mother as the primary caregiver with more involvement from the father such as picking the child up from school twice a week and taking care of the child, feeding the child and then return to mother to so that she could prepare then for school the next day. Have one day of the weekend with the child doing activities with the child and if the child is willing, stay the night.
- Secondary School children - Let the CHILD DECIDES!
NOTE: PLEASE NEVER EVER FORCE A CHILD TO STAY OVER IF THEY DO NOT WANT TO!!! But the system is forcing that because it is considered violating the parenting order.
This is a more stable arrangement for a child rather than subjecting a child to psychology assessment. Unless the child is really showing major distress, which means there is other underlying issue.
Men and lawyers (whether you are men or women), please accept that Mothers and Fathers play a different role. The child is not a furniture that has to be split. This is what the lawyers are trying to do - split the child. As for men, do you think that by fighting for the child, your child will really 'worship' you? If you are the father of a boy, you are telling the boy indirectly that he DOES NOT need to respect women. If you are the father of a daughter, you are giving teaching your daughter that she has NO self worth. Can you see the long term effects of your doing?
Well I am sure the MENSZ group will totally think I am wrong but really, sit back and think about it. Think about how you were raised.
For women, please stop fighting amongst ourselves. If you are a working successful mother, do not look down on us who choose to give up everything to care for our children. Please look back for most of you successful woman out there, you are a result of a stay at home mother/carer. Without that constant stable care, you wouldnt be where you are at the moment. Please look back and realised that it was your mother who sacrifice for your success - you were free to concentrate on your studies and activities instead of doing housework and helping out at home, taking care of siblings, etc. Did you ever once stop and thank her for giving up her 'life' for you but instead you seem more keen to not end up like her!
Instead you think that you have done your obligation by providing her with a maid and money. Now that I am a mother, I can tell all of you so called successful women out there, that is not what your elderly mother wants. All she wants is for you to thank her for your success, to spend some time with her in your free time and not spend every moment on your Ipad, IMac, Iphone or whatever IAppliance. They do not want the money, as what could they do with the money? They are elderly, so there's no desire to where Donna Karan dresses and have regular cut and foil, their taste bud has deteriorated so expensive food makes no difference to them. But what makes the difference is that you appreciate them for their sacrifice and not treat them like a hassle, a 'useless' person who has make nothing out of her life. Think about it all of you successful people out there!
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