Kidnapping Vs Heroine

Here I am attacking Betty Mahmoody which after reading Conversation with God, attack is a cry for help.  I also think I am jealous of Betty Mahmoody.  Why Sally Field played her role in the movie and why the world hail her as a Heroine but if any of us try to do so (especially an Asian) even if we have the same intentions and love for our child, we become the 'bad person'.  Aarrrgghhh!!  Please give me some fairness here!

When Betty Mahmoody escaped Iran with her daughter Mahtob, she is considered the heroine, the great mother who will go the extraordinary length for the love of her child. Even Hollywood re-created her story with Sally Field playing her role. However, if another person performs the same dramatic rescue to be with her child and the person is of Asian descent, it is then considered kidnapping even though her intentions are similar to Betty Mahmoody, which is for the LOVE OF HER CHILD.

Similar to Betty, I am in a cross cultural marriage that has gone wrong. The only difference is, Betty is the westerner in the marriage while I am the Asian in the marriage. Like Betty, I feel alone, unloved and unsupported where I am because I do not have my family around me. Unlike Betty dramatic escape, I decided to take the 'correct' path which is asked for permission to leave and go home for some respite with my son. Unfortunately, I am instead looked upon as wanting to take my son away from his father whom has walked out on us. As such, a parental order has been made to prevent me from leaving the country. So now, each time I want to visit my parents, I have to be at my ex-husband's mercy as to whether I can go for one week or one month or risk losing my son.

The law emphasized on the bond a child required with both parents growing up which I can comprehend but the law are man made rules. It does not take into consideration cultural differences and human rights/needs for love and support from family. Now, my life is basically in jail where I need permission to see my parents or to take my child out of the country. When I am sick, no one is there to offer help as friends could not provide unconditional love and support the way family does. These man made rules in New Zealand also do not require the man to pay alimony but just child support so I am not only emotionally and psychologically drained, I am also financially drained. And all because I wanted to go down the 'correct' path. If I had done what Betty Mahmoody had done, would I be considered a loving mother who loves her child and wants to give him a good happy family or would I be considered a kidnapper? I would think the latter as I am of Asian descent.

To all the women out there thinking that it is an honour to be in a cross cultural marriage, do bear in mind that things do go wrong sometimes. Do not make the same mistake as me. As for me, I have resigned to fate that I have to be in New Zealand by myself until my son is 18 years old or risk losing him forever.